What if the child we adopt has special needs that will take away from our current quality of life?
First let me refer you to an excellent post my wife recently published that addresses a commentor’s concern about being equipped to care for special-needs children as they turn into adults. Go here.
Now let me tell you that I worried about how any special-needs children we adopted might affect the rest of my family. As a man created to be the protector of my household, I dreaded having some “foreign body” enter our home and harming my other children. Isn’t that horrible? I think about my four adopted girls and wonder how I ever perceived them as bacteria entering a body!
What if one of them had uncontrollable fits where satan twists her head around 360 degrees and she takes a sledge hammer to one of my boys’ heads? I couldn’t live with myself.
But really, what concerned me the most was how life would change—plain and simple. I enjoyed taking my wife for dates once a week. Would that
need to stop? And how could we possibly go camping with special-needs kids?
And what about the finances? Would my other boys be left without because we have to make the money spread thinner? Would we not be able to send any of them to college or buy them a car?
I can only speak for myself. For me, it all boiled down to a spiritual issue. I had to come to terms with a Scripture passage. “Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it” (Luke 17.33).
The two most important words in that passage for me are “their life.” It’s like God calls it that on purpose, sort of tongue in cheek. If I really heeded that passage, then there’s no such thing as “my life!” If I lose it, how is it mine?
I was “bought at a price” (1 Cor. 6:20). So my concern for a changed “quality of life” is ridiculous, because I don’t have a life. Therefore, it’s a moot point to be concerned about its quality.
Like everything in my spiritual journey, I have had to come to grips with what my heart tries to protect. If Jesus Christ is truly the head of me and my household, then it’s only logical that He knows better. And I want what HE wants!
I can honestly say from experience, that our family’s “quality of life” is so much richer since I lost my life. For us to choose to adopt special-needs kids was the greatest thing that has happened to our entire family.
“Things” no longer determine quality. Following God’s will does. And I thank Him that His will for us was to adopt SN children. We could not be richer for it.