Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The Ambush of Internet Sex: INTRODUCTION


First I want to thank all of my readers who have contributed personal testimonies of the ravages of internet sex on their marriage and family.  I can only publish three at this time, but I will hold on to them in case the Lord would have me use others at later date.  I appreciate all of the time, effort, and emotions you must’ve invested in these stories!

And now, let’s get on with the series. 

I am writing this series because someone has to say something about internet sex in the church.

Did your jaw just drop?  Please hear me out.  We, as part of the body of Christ, should be gravely concerned about this pandemic that is killing marriages, killing families, and even killing the callings on the lives of countless Christians around the world.  And one of those Christians may be you.

One would have to be deaf, dumb, and blind to believe that our spiritual adversary is not orchestrating possibly the largest mass assault on the body of Christ since the persecutions of the early church.

At this stage, we cannot—and I mean, CANNOT—afford to allow this onslaught to remain a “taboo” topic in the church.  There should be no such thing.  Otherwise, we further invigorate satan’s efforts to destroy us.  Remember, he has come to “steal, kill, and destroy” (John 10:10).  And with internet sex, he is stealing our joy and our love for the things of God.  He is killing our marriages and families.  And he is destroying any calling on our lives that God has placed in us before the foundation of the world in order for us to advance His kingdom on earth.

Unfortunately, we the church knowingly or unknowingly protects this shamefulness in a shroud of silence because we’re either afraid to open the lid on this Pandora’s box, or we feel ill-equipped to minister into it, or we, ourselves, may even be entrapped in it!

Here are the facts concerning this trillion-dollar annual industry:

At a 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, two thirds of the 350 divorce lawyers who attended said the internet played a significant role in the divorces in the past year, with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half such cases. Pornography had an almost non-existent role in divorce just seven or eight years ago (Divorcewizards.com).

And an effective enemy will always take out the opposing leaders.  In March 2002, Rick Warren’s Pastors.com website conducted a survey on porn use of 1351 pastors.  It revealed that 54% of the pastors had viewed internet pornography within the past year, and 30% of those had visited within the past thirty days.

How many sermons do we hear about the ravages of internet sex though?  The silence is deafening.  And even more deafening is the lack of ministry within local churches to address this issue.  In this case, no news is bad news.  And satan loves it.  If he can keep sin a secret in our hearts, he’s won.  God’s heart, on the other hand, is to have shameful secrets revealed so that His glory can literally shine through:

“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.  It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.  But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light” (Eph. 5:11-13).

Church, time is short!  Jesus Christ is coming back to receive his “radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (Eph. 5:27).

May our Lord expose the sin in His body by the light, a sin that once grabbed at my own heart many years ago.  Healing is not only possible, it is necessary in this critical epoch season of humanity when all creation is groaning “as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies” (Rom. 8:23).

Why the Title “Internet Sex”?

Originally, I thought I would write a series on “Men and Pornography.”  However, after much thought and prayer and after receiving input from some of you, I have decided to entitle this series “The Ambush of Internet Sex.”  I did this for two reasons...

Firstly, the term “pornography” is too restricting.  “Internet sex” encompasses not only pornography, but any form of lewd communication whether it’s one-way or two-way communication.

For example, accessing porn photos is a one-way message via your computer to your eyes.  You look at it, lust, and may or may not respond to someone through the computer.  Responding is an example of two-way communication.

Internet sex constitutes porn photos or videos, but also sexual involvement in chat rooms, instant messaging, emailing, photo/video sharing, web camming (when another party sees you and/or you see them), adult dating services, and adult advertising (when you advertise your willingness to be sexually involved or are simply an exhibitionist, posting lewd photos/videos of yourself).

These communication forms often lead to “hook ups.”  Hook ups need not be an actual physical and illicit encounter with a prostitute, a sensual masseuse, or even a willing stranger.  Hook ups of the heart more than often occur.  And if there were computers when Jesus walked the earth, He would most assuredly see these cyber affairs as authentic as the real thing.

The second reason I changed the name is because it’s not only men who are involved in internet sex.  Obviously, women, as common sexual objects of the industry, are involved directly in internet sex.  BUT women are not only the objects of the attraction.  They are often addicts themselves.  In fact, of all those who claim to be addicted to internet sex, 28% of them are women! (www.internet-filter-review.com)  And sadly, in Today’s Christian Woman online newsletter (Fall, 2003), 34% of its Christian women’s readership “admitted to intentionally accessing internet porn.”  And this does not include all other aspects of internet sex as I discussed.

My Goal In This Series

Being older, I have the luxury of viewing things in hindsight and observing trends accordingly.

I remember being an unsaved, wild frat boy at USC in the mid-70’s.  Since my college was in Los Angeles, it wasn’t unusual to see celebrities on the street or in restaurants.  It also wasn’t unusual to see Hustler Magazine centerfolds walk the streets of fraternity row handing out freebies as they promoted their smut magazine.

I remember seeing these girls and thinking, Yuck, they’re so unattractive!  And all of them wore more makeup than Michael Jackson. 

I rarely bought a smut magazine in those days.  They did nothing for me.  I wanted the real thing.  I even rarely bought smut videos.  The acting was so pathetic, it didn’t seem real.

Satan has grown much wiser since those days.  He has devised a scheme to so popularize the sex industry that literally thousands of woman—of all cultures, all races, all body types, all features types, all ages—are eager to jump on the bandwagon, not only for a few extra bucks but for free!  And the women are no longer unattractive centerfold types.  Many of them are stunningly attractive, are everyday women in our neighborhoods, and will easily allure any person if that person opens the door.

My prayer is that this smorgasbord of sensuality will be neutralized in the church of our Lord Jesus Christ, by addressing one person at a time through this meager blog.

I will not only expose how it destroys you and your family.  I will explore how internet sex becomes addictive, how one can receive healing, and how Christians can truly trust Jesus Christ with a better alternative.

Does that last part sound strange?  It should.  Because satan has duped the church into believing that God is not nearly as exciting and fulfilling as the sensation you get when involved in the snare of internet sensuality.

The truth is, GOD IS ALL THAT!  He will not only give you unexplainable joy, an indescribable sense of sonship, and an unfathomable sense of love and acceptance…our King of kings will give you unspeakable FREEDOM!

It’s time for a revolution in the church and in your heart, wouldn’t you say?


  1. 54% of pastors involved in internet pornography? :( :( :( I am in tears because it means so many men are involved and what a devastation it is to their families.

  2. Good start bro - I'll be passing this along to our pastor!!


  3. Bring it on! Let's fight this battle!

  4. One of my family members is dealing with this in her marriage (her husband is addicted). It is so hurtful. Thanks for bringing it into the light; I will share your blog with them.

  5. So glad you are taking this on. We need to be uncovering the darkness!

  6. So so good!!! Thank you for investing your time into this all too important issue that others don't want to talk about.

  7. Thank you for being a voice for this tragedy!!! Great start!!!

  8. I have been so encouraged through your entire family.... seeing your children grow in the Lord, healed by His mighty power!!! Your wife's words steer directly to the most inner parts of me, challenging me, encouraging me, changing my foundations by the things she has had the courage and faith to say "yes" to. Yet again, you speak up! You lead boldly and unashamed! I am praying that the Holy Spirit protects you during this time and gives you the words to speak to so many of us- and that He will receive the glory!!!!


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