I want to make one thing clear. As we venture into this part of the series in which you are given the tools to bring you closer to healing from internet sex, I am assuming a lot. I assume that I’m speaking primarily to Christians—men and women—who have a problem with the internet. I also assume that, as Christian, you have tried everything you know to try, from a biblical perspective.
For example, prayer is an obvious place to start. If you haven’t started there, why not? Do you feel too ashamed to go the Father with your sin? Well, first of all, “your Father knows what you need before you ask him” (Matt. 6:8). And secondly, God “is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us” (Eph. 3:20). Thirdly, God tells us THREE TIMES in the New Testament that “whoever trusts in Him is not put to shame” (Rom. 9:23; 10:11; 1 Pet. 2:6).
Let me put those three points another way, in Anthony speak: “Dude, it’s crazy not to talk to God about it because He already knows what you’ve been doing! And not only does He know, He is perfectly able to help you. So don’t be ashamed. Trust Him now.”
I am sensitive to how you feel, though. I’ve been there. Sometimes I could only get out—HEEEELLLP! But that’s a prayer, too. Just put your trust in Him.
Another thing I assume you’ve tried is meditating on our Lord’s Word. Needless to say, when we get lost, we refer to the map.
But I’m writing this part of the series to those who’ve done these things and just can’t seem to get a grasp on victory from internet sex.
In the last post, I suggested that the journey of healing may not be an instantaneous one. It may even be very arduous. But I am not writing this post to bring an easy way out of the illicit-sex snare. I am writing it to those who mean business, who are SO fed up with their sin, SO feeling helpless and hopeless, and SO ready to do WHATEVER it takes to get healed from this scourge once and for all, from a biblical perspective.
If that’s you, put your seat belt on.
“ONLY SERIOUS APPLICANTS NEED APPLY”
Are you serious? Then get ready for a complete overhaul, a total lifestyle change, a way of life that may be very foreign to you and may even rub you the wrong way at first.
Regarding this last aspect, let me tell you a true story. I like golf. For years, I was a pretty good golfer. Not great. Just pretty good. I had a certain grip on the golf club, used a certain swing, and played a certain strategy in order for me not to shoot in the 100’s (for non-golf readers, that’s not a good score!).
Then one day just a few years ago, I thought I would treat myself to something I’ve never had before—a good set of brand-spanking new golf clubs. So I went to a driving range to test some new clubs to buy. I started out rough, as usual, but midway through the big basket of balls, I was slamming the ball in the general vicinity of where I wanted it to go. The good thing about driving ranges is that you can err a bit and it still looks like a killer drive. Whoever’s watching can assume you meant to hit it virtually straight but a little to the right.
That’s when I was caught. A golf pro was hitting some balls next to me. Every one of his shots was not just in the vicinity of the center area of the range—each shot landed in the exact same spot a gazillion miles away!
“Hey, show off,” I said to him. Not really. But I wanted to call him that way.
“Uh, excuse me. I’m thinking about buying these clubs. Do you know how to tell if they’re right for me?”
“Sure,” he said. “Let me see you hit a few.”
Well, I was excited inside. I get to show off a little and have the guy say, “Man, you’ve got some talent!”
He never said that. I never asked him to give me pointers, but he did. I hated to hear them, but in the end, I was so grateful. The pro started by saying, “Let’s start with your grip…”
What? Start with my grip?! Is he kidding?! Didn’t he see how far I hit those balls? Giving a lesson on my grip is for beginners, I thought. Man, I was hurt. He moved my fingers and palms a certain way like an artist molds and repositions clay on a sculpture.
When he was done, he said, “Now hold that and swing.”
Oh, man, I just laughed. It felt SO UNNATURAL! It was so hard. The first swing I took, I missed the ball entirely! Surely this cannot be the proper grip. And surely I couldn’t have playing golf all these years using a bad grip! But it’s true. I have gotten so used to doing things the wrong way, that when I tried to do things the right way, it not only felt unnatural, it was HARD!
I think you know where I’m going with this. We can do things the wrong way and still feel like we’re pretty good people. We can even live our entire lives including the “wrong ways” in our lifestyle and feel complacent or even hopeless thinking that the “right way” is not attainable for me.
Sometimes you have to slog through the trenches to plant a flag on the hilltop. Tune in for the next post and we’ll take a step-by-step journey on the road of victory.