Although I wrote a series on reluctant husbands, I’d like to speak with you right now, right here, if you are one.
ANTHONY: OK, so why are you so reluctant to adopt?
RH: I don’t know, really. I guess I’ve been working so hard just to “protect” the family that I have now. What I mean by that is that I’m trying to preserve time with my family. And that’s already a challenge with my work schedule. How can I possibly fit one more in?
ANTHONY: What do you mean?
RH: I feel it’s not fair if we bring another child into our home because I feel like I’m lacking as a dad already, not giving enough quality time to the children I already have.
ANTHONY: That’s a fair statement. But I can tell you from personal experience that whether you have one child or ten, you never feel like you’re giving each one ample attention. That may not be a bad thing. It keeps us dads on our toes. Besides, God somehow makes it all work out anyway. And how great it would be if you show your children, by example, the heart of God lived out—His heart of adoption! Every day you show your other children how the Father loves each of us adopted believers.
RH: That’s all good in principle. But I know me. My stress level is at its threshold with the kids we have now.
ANTHONY: Then stress is the issue that must be addressed first. If we see our children as a source of stress and not blessing, as the Word depicts them, then we are not living with the peace of Christ in our hearts. And our children will always remember their dad as a nice guy, but an uptight dude.
RH: But the source of stress isn’t always the kids. It’s the finances that help pay for the kids.
ANTHONY: Aren’t you putting the cart before the horse? If you are open to the Lord merely asking you to adopt, don’t you think He’ll take care of the finances? If God asks us to do something, don’t you think He’ll pay for it?
RH: That sounds a bit pie-in-the-sky, doesn’t it?
ANTHONY: It does only if you are the god of your own finances. In all that we do, we trust in the Lord, don’t we? Why is our financial future any different?
RH: OK, but I really have to admit something. Even though we have the money, I’d really like to grow old with no kids in the house. Children with special needs, well, many of them may end up staying at home for the rest of our lives.
RH: And when am I going to have my time? My time to finally spend with my wife. My time to finally travel and see the world. My time to just sit and relax and do nothing, if I want.
ANTHONY: I understand. But if you’re like me, then this passage in Luke shakes you up:
And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’
“Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’
“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’
“This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”
ANTHONY: I know. Me too.